Personal Change - Demystified

CHANGE - This is probably the most exploited word in the Dictionary.

Somethings about change

• Its something we all have to deal with in life more often than we'd like to.
• It also has a knack of springing up when we least expect it.
• Somehow the spontaneous response to change, usually is to resist it.
• In spite of change happening since time immemorial, we are still surprised when it happens.
• Its the only thing that makes interesting conversations. We usually ask - whats new? No one is interested in the old or whats already happened. (Even though it was "new" then).
• Whereas we do need a change or break once in a while - very soon after we take that break - the heart and mind are craving for the familiar and the routine - 2 days abroad and you are suddenly craving dal roti chawal?? or rajma chawal?? or the comfort of your bed or meals cooked by your wife/mother. No matter what exotic location you go to - you're always relieved as soon as you sit on your own sofa or sleep in your own bed and eat the good ol' home food.
•  Change is an energiser - its whats keeps all of us going. It keeps us ticking. Makes the routine more interesting and more palatable.

 

 

Yet i feel most of us have not learnt to deal with this creature called "CHANGE" effectively.. We're still foxed when change jumps out at us.

It is truly said that the only constant is CHANGE !!

 

But there are 2 types of "Change" -

1) The one that we want to do

2) The one that happens to us by circumstance

Very rarely do these 2 merge. Life oscillates between these 2.

 

We are constantly trying to change our self or change others. This is at an individual level. Take that further and some groups are trying to influence other groups, Companies are trying to change or make their employees behave a particular way, Social activists groups are trying to bring change in the section of society they are working with. The Government is trying to change the state of affairs in the country (for better or worse).

I read this interesting quote

Reason for failure of marriage - A woman marries a man thinking he will change and a man marries a woman thinking she will never change.

Everyone is trying to change someone or something and when we finally achieve that change - we feel we have progressed or succeeded.

 

Serenity prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference

 

 

If we can just get this right. The peace happiness and bliss quotient in our lives will improve dramatically.

 

As Mahatma Gandhi said - BE the change you wish to see in the world.

 

So I'm going to talk about this personal change.

 

Most of us are always on some resolution or the other. I've been on a resolution to lose weight everyday for the past 2 years (well most of my adult life actually - i did succeed in bursts but not permanently)- well nothings happened so far. I think about it every day, many times a day, i keep procrastinating (that's my middle name), and say ill start from tomorrow, or next week or next month. Believing that i will hit that magical time in my life when my son will suddenly turn more cooperative and less naughty or ill find that perfect maid with whom i can trust my son or there will suddenly be this time when there wont be any personal or professional emergencies and i will get that GOLDEN time to focus on my weight loss. Guess what  I've realised over the last 2 years - THAT AIN'T EVER GONNA HAPPEN!!

 

So I've decided as soon as i publish this post - I'm going to re-start my surya namaskars (I can almost see my hubby crossing his fingers and sending up a prayer that this time its for real :)).

 

Coming back to the point - How to be successful at personal change??

 

Whether we are trying to lose weight or quit smoking, or controlling our temper, or stop eating junk food or be a better person or whatever else that we want to be.....there is a GOLDEN KEY

 

Ok - here it comes

 

We have to change our identity to make that change happen. We have to change the tags we identify ourselves with.

 

So instead of saying - i haven't smoked in 17 days 10 hours, 24 minutes you need to believe and convince yourself that  - I AM A NON SMOKER.  You will never feel like smoking again. (or wont give in that easily). Until you hit that your efforts will always be sporadic and unsuccessful.

 

(Note to self - I believe that I'm perfectly fit and healthy, have a glowing skin, eat the right foods and exercise regularly)

 

Role of Priorities

 

A lot of people say "id love to spend more time with my spouse/kids/parents and less time at work, but THIS project is soooo huge - as soon as this is over ill make it up to them"....and then...theres another big project, another appraisal, another promotion and the cycle repeats.

 

 

 

Like my dream of having that perfect figure - this too is a vicious cycle...

If you say something is really important in your life - it should show itself in your life and routine everyday - or at least 5 times a week. Else its not really important to you - Its just something you keep saying to fool yourself and the world.

 

If you were in an air plane that was about to crash - would you keep repeating - i really want to jump out with my parachute ..i really want to jump out with my parachute - ill do it in the next 5 minutes - or would you just jump??

 

Unfortunately there are no deadlines in relationship building or losing weight or anything that is good and healthy for us (unless we've had a health scare). We need to psyche ourselves - change our conditioning to achieve and enjoy these joys in our life.

 

So I'm going to inform you about my progress in a months time on my weight loss. (No I'm not telling you my current weight - fat chance!! just going to tell you how much i lost ;))

 

If there's something you want to change about yourself - take it up with me. Lets start together. Its always easier when you have company.

 

Love

Alpa