First - apology for not writing sooner. Should have completed this post long ago.
We start from where we left off in the last post. How do we get rid of these fears and phobias for good from our lives? If you have not read the earlier post - please do so now to get a context of where this post is coming from.
Is this as easy as it sounds?? Getting rid of these phobias?
Well the answer is - YES and NO!
All it takes is
1) A strong will to be free from them.
Once you have made up your mind that you will get rid of them, its half the battle won.
2) Self-awareness / Spiritual Orientation
This is essential to get a bigger perspective in life
3) A Guide/Loved one
Have you noticed its easier to go to the Gym/walk/dance class is always easier when you go with someone. Same holds true for mastering fears/the mind. When you are in company of someone who understands you/your path, has gone through that path or even if they have not gone through it, is capable of objectively observing and
If you are blessed to have these 3 in your life its really easy. When you don't have these 3 qualities and you are not able to develop them, that's when its not so easy.
What are the ways in which we can rid ourselves of the phobia cycle
1) Knowledge of life and ourselves
Once Guruji (Sri Sri for all of those who still dont know)
shared a really nice personal experience with us.
He was sharing about his younger days - when they used to study
in a Gurukul. One night he and 3-4 other students decided to trek the jungle at
night just for fun. So the sneaked out after the master had slept and decided
they would be back before he woke up in the morning.
They had a good trek. However towards the end of the trek, one
of the students stopped, he looked at something and froze in his place. When
the others looked to see what had made him so scared, they saw something like a
snake in the darkness. Whereas they were all slightly scared, even at that
tender age they were spiritually awakened, so they remained calm and told him
that the snake would not harm them if they did not harm the snake and hence
they should return back as soon as possible to the Gurukul. But this student
refused to move, so deep was his fear. He could not even run away from his
object of fear. The others stayed there with him as they could not leave their
friend there in the jungle alone.
It was anyway almost morning and as the night started breaking
into dawn, they all saw that what had made the young boy freeze in fear all
night was nothing but a rope coiled up lying there left by some previous
trekkers.
It was a false evidence appearing real (FEAR).
 |
| Our stressed mind makes us perceive threat where there is none |
That boy was fearful only in darkness. As soon as it was dawn -
he realised his folly and went back home.
Then Guruji enlightened us -That we all are also fearful only in
darkness, in ignorance. Once the light of knowledge dawns in us, all fears
disappear, and we start to see things clearly as they really are and not as our
stressed and fearful and ignorant minds perceive it.
Such a simple story and such a profound lesson.
2) Love
Fear and Love are 2 sides of the same coin. You must have surely
heard that famous song from Mughle-azam - "Pyaar kiya to darna kya".
Where there is Love, there can be no fear. Maybe that's why a mother knows no fear when it comes to protecting the safety or interest of her children. I know many women who otherwise were considered meek, stand up to anyone when their child's safety is concerned
Here is a video of a buffalo who beats up a lioness who attacks her calf. Would a buffalo have otherwise have had the courage to stand up to the lion? NO WAY! But her child makes her will power strong enough to face anyone.
3) Guess what, you are going to die….so accept it.
The only real fear should be regret...regret of having never really lived fully with the time you were given.
Be like the surfer pictured above, he always has to be in the PRESENT MOMENT, can he afford to keep thinking about how the wave is going to make him crash? Well if he did….he will crash 100% of the time.
We focus on our fears so much, no wonder we feel life's all messed up. Don’t fear the wave(or death), there is nothing to fear. Focus on what you have now - the PRESENT MOMENT and life ahead of us.
And then when Death does come, we will be able to embrace it, knowing we lived a happy and fulfilled life.
4) Get a REAL perspective
Sometimes i feel our worries are so superficial, If you have food on the table and a roof over your head - what really is it you are complaining about? Just look at people less fortunate than you, they have so little, yet you'll see a smile of contentment on many of their faces.
Most of our worries/fears are so superficial :
- "What if I fail?” – Who cares! Do you? So what….everyone that has gone on to do anything great has failed tons of times. Get over that mentality and embrace failure…as that means you are taking action and getting closer to success.
- “What will people think of me?” - Again….who cares! Be the fool…dance and sing. If you worry about what others will think of you all day long you will never be in control of your life and that will make you more fearful. This could be with friends, at work and what the boss thinks, in relationships, etc. Do what you know you need to do, follow your own music and never care what anyone else thinks.
- “But I need more…..” - You don’t need anything else…you don’t need more money, you don’t need more cars, you don’t need more friends…you just need to change you mentality. You can make more money if you want to or have more cars/friends…but you don’t NEED any of it. Detach!
To conclude - Each person's reasons for developing fears/fearful attitudes are different, hence each persons journey to get out of them is unique too.
Guruji always says - on the path - "Fake it till you make it!" He says it in the context that even if you are not enlightened - just act like you are and one day you will be.
Im suggesting - Act like you are fearless and one day you will be!! :) :)
Im suggesting - Act like you are fearless and one day you will be!! :) :)
Fake it till you make it!!
Love
Alpa
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