So today is my birthday and i turn 16 for the 21st time :)
I couldn't sleep last night out of sheer excitement. Thats not happened to me in 5-7 years, specially after the kids. But yesterday!! Oh man! I was abuzz with excitement (Even though i was recovering from a bad flu and tired).
Then I thought a level deeper, to understand why ..as i usually do :) - I realised I was not excited about my birthday, because i did not know or like who I had become the last few years, that woman was a stranger to me, (I've written about not recognising the woman in the mirror in this post), and who gets excited for a strangers birthday right???
This year too, I've been soaked in love and warmth with calls and messages from friends and well-wishers in my life, phone ringing constantly, warm messages pouring in. It's so beautiful to be able to receive and bask in the love once more. When I didnt like who I had become, I remember being in a rush to hang up on calls lest they too realise, that I am not person they knew.
I felt like i was a fraud.
I WAS !!
I was cheating on myself to please others !!
This birthday was a new "Hello!" from my Authentic self to me! :) I am thrilled to be back in a relationship with myself and fiercely loyal too!
❤ I can have better relationships with others ONLY when I am loyal to myself.
❤ You should be wary of people who are naked and offer you a shirt.
❤ Same way - be wary of people who are unable to help themselves and offer to help you.
❤ Be wary of people who say I love you, but dont love themselves! You cannot give what you dont have!
❤ Never lose connect with yourself to connect better with anyone else!! EVER!!
The lesson of self-love and acceptance is a tough one and may seem harsh from the outside but its not. Its the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself as well as for all the others play-acting in your life story!
If this resonated with you, please do write to me at alpa@ignitethespark.in or comment below. I would LOVE to hear from you.
Loads of Love,
Alpa
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Beautiful post... it speaks out what I have felt too over the last few years :) I think I am looking forward to my birthday this year too! After a long time! :) Many thanks for this!
ReplyDeleteWow. thats great to hear :) I am so happy you are looking forward to your birthday this year :) Loads of love to you
ReplyDeleteThats an amazing post Alpa, Belated Happy Birthday and after reading this a happy now for you :) So happy to read this :)
ReplyDeleteha ha ha...thanks Hemal :) for the wishes and the compliment
ReplyDeleteI've started dreading my birthday for the past few years...I think you get the feeling...I don't want it to come and fake a smile when I'm not happy inside. I don't like answering calls from well wishes because they question my tone. Birthdays were a grand affair once, not only mine but any dear one's for that matter...now it's just another day on the calendar.
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