Habits and Behaviours I changed to Transform my life!

The last blog I wrote about my treasure box - the books/talks and workshops that were influential in my personal growth. It was the highest viewed post of all time. Thank you :) 

If you haven't read it you can read it here

As i mentioned in the last blog, in this post I am going to tell you about the physical & emotional habits and behaviours I changed in order to change my story and state. Some are generic, some are personality dependent. Its good to take stock once in a while and reflect on these. 

I had FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out for the uninitiated). I wanted to do everything and be everywhere. I wanted to be a great mom, wife, daughter, daughter in law, socialise extensively, meet friends, spend time with my parents, travel, go to the gym, please everyone, sleep 8 hours, meditate and have a thriving career, all in 24 hours.

One thing that really helped me, I must credit my husband for this one – is FOCUS. (He has laser sharp focus and I have seen the results in his work). He is the one who made me realise that nothing great is achieved without prioritisation. I CHOSE to become the best version of myself and live a life that resonates with my calling. The rest was easy.

What I stopped doing

§  I started saying No to unnecessary social meets where I felt conversation would be superficial or negative.

§  Stopped watching TV almost entirely, at the most 1-2 hours a week, mostly on the weekend. I sure didn't waste a single minute watching Arnab or his friends. Just couldnt!! 

§  Deleted Facebook and Instagram and all games from my phone.

§  Gave up the DESIRE to attend every interesting event happening in town. Anyway we were not able to go to many of these, because you cant really enjoy them with the kids, but the desire to go used to trouble me. After I refocused my energies, that desire stopped troubling me. I loved the feeling of using that time working and creating the life I want for myself.

§  I planned my day my way – I realised I was being available for people as per their schedule. I took a hard look at the way I spent my time. I planned ahead and made my schedule accounting for my needs & family needs. I started keeping daily/weekly/monthly calendars. Again this was feedback from hubby – that I wasn’t organised enough– It wasn’t easy to hear or accept – but it was true – Paid heed to it – and it made me a lot more effective. I was usually on top of things and hence was happier too. I was used to being organised at work, but at home I had neglected doing that. Anish, knowing my dislike for domestic tasks, suggested  - “Put systems in place at home – run the house like you would run your company – delegate your tasks – have your checklists. You will have far more time to spare.” I do thank him now. (Many people are inherently very organised – I wasn’t one of those – so it was a big and necessary change for me)

§  I completely stopped participating in any negative talk and unnecessary arguments with anyone. I just politely left the conversation. 

What I started / continued doing

§  Going to the gym  

§  Eating healthy and nutritious food

§  Made a vision board – focusing on what I want (vis a vis what I don’t want)

§  Meditating, Chanting & Sudarshan Kriya (breathing exercise taught in the Art of Living courses)

§  Girls Nights with my sisters -  these nights are awesome and therapeutic ..always mandatory - but they happen once a quarter !! :)

§  Changed the kids routine to ensure they were in bed by 9.30 pm so I got a couple of hours after they slept

§  Reading Reading Reading

§  Watching great learning videos.

§  I started doing things I enjoyed doing, (which I was putting off for god knows when) - dancing, keyboard, learning sanskrit, some art and craft stuff etc. Was so fulfilling and so much fun!

Emotional habits I changed

§  Stopped(well almost) justifying myself & my actions to people

§  Stopped overuse/abuse of the word "Sorry". 

§  Took complete responsibility for my life – stopped blaming anyone/anything

§  Forgave all those who were occupying unfavourable space in my mind. This i did for my own peace of mind. A resentful mind never takes you far ahead. Your mind may need repeated reminders. Thats ok! :)

§  Started saying yes to things that set my soul on fire

§  Putting myself first – this meant loving and caring for myself the way I did for others

§  Raised my standards of how i want to be treated. And educated people around me on the revised standards. 

§  Put self-care first – you can't pour from an empty cup!

§  Practised gratitude

§  Placed high value on my peace of mind and my time. 

All these got me enough momentum to get to tipping point. 

Hope they serve as good introspection for you too. You can take stock of the behaviours that are serving you and those that are stopping you from crushing it in life!!

Loads of love

Alpa