Mujhme chupi si jo shayri hai..continued from last post

This post is a continuation from yesterdays post. link below in case you havent read that one yet
http://angelalpa.blogspot.in/2016/06/tune-into-you.html

Who is the one person we can rely on to make us feel loved and nurtured?

Some of you probably guessed, parents, siblings, friends, or you probably got my drift already.(ping me if you did)

So I'm going to by 36 this year, I can barely believe it! How can I when i don't look or feel a day over 16 ;)?
Anyway, by now I've had a couple of kids and seen some things coming full circle, I realised - What we really are in love with is - Love. 

The object or person we love is not of as much consequence. All that matters is we should feel the love. 

Beneath all this need for love and poetry and connections, what we are really searching for at the core of all these relationships and connections is actually Happiness. In fact we search for happiness in every action and decision we make.

A life-saving realisation dawned on me.

"I don't need another person to feel that perfect state of love or happiness." I can get myself in that state, in a far more reliable way.


You are the person you can be rely on to love and nurture yourself. 

It was a liberating and empowering realisation for me. 

Happiness doesn't really come from a person or thing, but from a space inside us. 

In this hoopla of expressing and proving love and loyalty to others, we have forgotten to love ourselves. In the race to be kind to and forgive others, we have forgotten to be kind to ourselves. 

Loving others brings us joy and contentment only when our own cup is full and overflows onto others. When we try and give others without fully filling our own cup, our energy gets depleted and it causes fatigue, stress, resentment and frustration and illnesses. 

Finally we come into and leave this world alone, we are responsible to ourselves alone for the life we live. We cannot blame anyone on our death bed, saying, "Had they loved us a little more or made us a little more happy, our life would have been beautiful." 

Lets learn to connect with ourselves to find that space of unconditional love and happiness within us.

How??

Easiest way is Meditate and do pranayam regularly. Both are big energisers. 

I recently read this book -"You can heal your life" by Louise Hay, after recommendations from many people. It lived up to the hype.

Louise speaks about mirror work besides many other wonderful tools in her book. You can check out this video for mirror work. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZFcN5qB8yM

Mirror work involves looking into the mirror at ourselves and talking to ourselves to completely accept and love our self. Improving the relationship we have with our self, through the mirror. Yes i know it sounds very silly, you look into the mirror many times a day I'm sure, but this will feel different and difficult initially. specially if you've crossed the 30's, 40's age mark. 

Confession time - When i was in school and college i used to spend a lot of time reaffirming to myself in front of the mirror. Many of us probably did that. 

As we grow up, we get distant from ourselves; we forget to plug-in to ourselves,  to check if we're doing OK, which is where our stress begins. I have started doing mirror work again. It feels kind of nice, even though now i don't get as much time as i did back then in school/college. One of my kids finds their way to the room asking me to open up so they can join the party! 

Another way is to remember that we deserve our own love compassion and kindness as much as anyone else in the world. So next time you are giving up something you love or want to do for someone else, think again. What you really are doing is emptying your love cup and replacing it with future resentment, when you will feel the gesture wasn't reciprocated.  
Fill your own cup first. Even in the aircraft they tell you to put on your mask first before helping others, even if its your own kids you want to help.

Lets re-discover self-love, self-compassion and self-nurturing.  It truly is the path to lasting happiness. Meditation is a great tool to connect with the self. 

Next time you're thinking "Nobody loves me!", remember you have YOU....and that is all that matters in the end. Treat yourself like you'd treat your lover. Give yourself a huge hug and blow a kiss to the mirror and meditate. 

And as all things come full circle, the more you love yourself, the more irresistible you become to others. More people find themselves drawn to you and your cup starts overflowing even more. And you can start focusing on the road ahead and do those great things that will be part of your legacy, with confidence, contentment and boundless energy. 

Try it, drop me a message, tell me how it goes. 

Love

Me

Tujhme chupi si jo shayri hai..

I love this verse from the song 'subhanalla' from 'yeh jawaani hai deewani'

Ek din kabhi jo khud ko pukaare

Meri zubaan se tu zara, 

Tujh mein chhupi si jo shayari hai

Tujhko sunaaun main zara, 

Such a beautiful thought by Amitabh Bhattacharya

How beautiful when someone says i will acquaint you with your own hidden beauty...which you are unable to see yourself. 

However, this passionate teenage/twenties serenading love doesn't last forever, it soon gets hidden under grown up responsibilities like career, marriage, kids, fame, success, EMIs etc. With time we often forget our own beauty and change to please others, maybe a partner, boss, friends, society in order to be more accepted, more loved, more successful.

We are happiest in relationships where we don't need to change. It is a rare blessing to have a partner or a career where you can be yourself, sing your own tune, instead of singing other people's tunes. Even if you try to sing their tune, you always feel you're going off on most notes. Even if you do sing it, its still not your song, not the song you were born to sing and you're not going to be happy singing it. 

Even more beautiful is a relationship where you discover parts of yourself which you didn't know existed, the relationship makes you feel safe and loved enough to drop your insecurities and make your life bigger, better, larger or do whatever it is that you always wanted to but were too scared to, knowing that you always have that cocoon to come back to, which will nurture you unconditionally when you need it. 

These scenarios however are very difficult and unrealistic to sustain though you may be fortunate to experience them in bursts. I have been fortunate  :) 

I have yet to see a love like that - that has sustained time, marriage, kids, monetary issues, sickness etc. 

That type of love usually ends as soon as you step out of the Bollywood movie :)

But there is one person  on whom you can rely at all times to make you feel loved and nurtured. 

Any guesses who that could be?  

Answers in the next post 

Love 
Me