Truth and Dare?

Whereas I am a great fan of speaking the truth, (It saves me from so much stress of having to remember all the lies), I have this aversion to the ATTENTION I need to pay to say the correct things at the correct time to the right people in the right situation. I think if I have to pay so much attention in speaking the truth - What is the point in speaking the truth? The whole point was to avoid the mess !! (Well I do almost always speak the truth. I have lied for societal purposes on rare occasions to protect my privacy or of that of a dear one.)

So I'm a little lazy about being proper about saying the truth many times....and i realized that  -

Speaking the truth without tact causes more trouble than lying!!!!

At least when you lie, you've not opened up your cards yet and have usually sugar coated what you said or said something which avoids confrontation. So you're safe!! 

By saying the truth in a non-tactful way you invite way more trouble on yourself, because the bitter truth is already out there and its a bomb waiting to explode! 

(Disclaimer - This does not apply to HI! Hello, and superficial weather chit chat conversations, obviously!!!!)

Its like a minefield - If you pay attention where you walk and look ahead or watch out for potential disasters you can avoid them and save yourself much trouble. If you DON'T pay attention, you're going to get blown up - truth or lies!

SO - Lesson to be learnt - FOCUS on HOW you communicate!

1) Verbal Communication- Speech and Action

Say whatever you have to say while giving a little thought to -

Whom you are speaking to and what impact what you are saying will have on them?

What will be the consequences of your words on their world?

What obstacles/resistance would you face?

What is the volume and tone of your voice

2) Non-verbal Communication- feeling, intention and body language

Many times we say the right thing, learned from social experience, but inside we maybe feeling nervous/resentful/anxious/bitter/biased/preoccupied...All of these come across in our communication. So beware. Be calm, compose yourself and speak. Choose your opening line and words carefully. 

It seems  a tall order, but with practice, it becomes second nature and will eventually make you a more centered and relaxed individual, who spends less time fire-fighting and more time at peace and in control of situations.

The most powerful definition of communication I've heard till date is - 

Communication is the response you get!!

If you are not getting the desired response, you are not communicating effectively!!

This is such a life-changing and powerful shift in thinking - Instead of blaming others for not interpreting what you said correctly all the time, you actually take control in your hands and ensure YOUR message gets across they way you intend it to get across.

Well its helped me a lot so far, still have a long way on the path - hope it helps you too!!

Cheers

Alpa