Its been a long time since my last post. Almost 9 months, wonder what I've been doing!!??
- Medical emergencies demanding utmost care, shooting up all around me (not mine)
- Shifted Homes (120 boxes - after we threw away almost 50 boxes worth of stuff)
- Set up new home and staff
- On my way to being a mom all over again :) Little one due in March 2014
- D started going to Big School
- My Little Brother got married to his childhood sweetheart - Had such a super blast at the wedding
- D's first Annual Day - he danced on stage!! (really - so big already!!)
In short it wasn't a very smooth year. Now with D's 4th birthday round the corner and a lot of these upheavals behind me (some yet pending), I am wondering where my flight is off to next.....
And as i was wondering about this...I had a big realisation- that for a change I am happy just exactly where I am.
(This is very new for me...... as I had always found pleasure in going somewhere and doing something, and always found my current state boring and not happening and found myself frustrated in that state all the time.
I always used to envy those people who's lives' were seemingly happening. Those who were constantly partying or travelling, and posting stuff all over social media. They seemed to have life so sorted!! )
I don't know if this is a result of change of circumstances or a change in mindset.
The more I think about it, I am convinced it is more a change in mindset.
Guruji (Sri Sri) keeps telling us "Your life is a reflection of your mind".
I heard it and grasped it at a concept level, but it is only over the past few months, after being on the spiritual path for 12 years have I truly experienced this state. Its great to reach a milestone that makes some sense of the apparently aimless and unnamed journey you had undertaken. I'm hoping as I write this that I don't slip back, as there is truly nothing more slippery than the human mind.
So as you sort and settle your inner world, your outer world gets sorted too.
This probably sounds vague to a lot of you, so I am going to try and pen down some differences in these 2 states of mind.
Constantly hankering for new experiences v/s
Enjoying your current circumstance and experience to the fullest - 100%
Constantly seeking people with the sub-conscious motive to check what they're up to and compare and feel better/worse about yourself v/s
Being in a state where you are in a compassionate giving state of mind to help others where required at the same time having the equanimity to ensure you are protecting your interests and mind.
Being frustrated and uneasy, feeling something is missing or life/time is passing you by v/s
Being content at peace and hence doing so much more with life
Volatile mood swings and reactions based on constant inputs received from various stimuli (News, friends, spouse, in laws, children ...you get the gist!) v/s
More or less equanimous state where the choice of how and when to react lies with you. (this doesn't mean I don't feel like tearing my hair apart when D throws his stubborn tantrums - it just means my sanity doesn't go fully out of hand)
Making more mistakes, forgetting more things v/s
apologising much lesser as you've got most things covered
Being outward focused v/s
Being inward focused
We all usually experience all these phases at some point or the other. As we start living more of the inward focused life, our inner world and state of mind starts to really bloom and blossom and it does eventually reflect on the outer world too in a more permanent way.
Cheers to some inner blossoming for all of us...
Love
Alpa
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