Saturday, 7 December 2013

The crucial shift

Its been a long time since my last post. Almost 9 months, wonder what I've been doing!!??
 
  • Medical emergencies demanding utmost care, shooting up all around me (not mine) 
  • Shifted Homes (120 boxes - after we threw away almost 50 boxes worth of stuff)
  • Set up new home and staff
  • On my way to being a mom all over again :) Little one due in March 2014
  • D started going to Big School
  • My Little Brother got married to his childhood sweetheart - Had such a super blast at the wedding
  • D's first Annual Day - he danced on stage!! (really - so big already!!)
 
In short it wasn't a very smooth year. Now with D's 4th birthday round the corner and a lot of these upheavals behind me (some yet pending), I am wondering where my flight is off to next.....
 
And as i was wondering about this...I had a big realisation- that for a change I am happy just exactly where I am.
 
(This is very new for me...... as I had always found pleasure in going somewhere and doing something, and always found my current state boring and not happening and found myself frustrated in that state all the time.  
I always used to envy those people who's lives' were seemingly happening. Those who were constantly partying or travelling, and posting stuff all over social media. They seemed to have life so sorted!! )
 
I don't know if this is a result of change of circumstances or a change in mindset.
The more I think about it, I am convinced it is more a change in mindset.
 
Guruji (Sri Sri) keeps telling us "Your life is a reflection of your mind".
 
I heard it and grasped it at a concept level, but it is only over the past few months, after being on the spiritual path for 12 years have I truly experienced this state. Its great to reach a milestone that makes some sense of the apparently aimless and unnamed journey you had undertaken. I'm hoping as I write this that I don't slip back, as there is truly nothing more slippery than the human mind.
 
So as you sort and settle your inner world, your outer world gets sorted too.
 
This probably sounds vague to a lot of you, so I am going to try and pen down some differences in these 2 states of mind.
 
Constantly hankering for new experiences v/s
Enjoying your current circumstance and experience to the fullest - 100%
 
Constantly seeking people with the sub-conscious motive to check what they're up to and compare and feel better/worse about yourself v/s
Being in a state where you are in a compassionate giving state of mind to help others where required at the same time having the equanimity to ensure you are protecting your interests and mind.
 
Being frustrated and uneasy, feeling something is missing or life/time is passing you by v/s
Being content at peace and hence doing so much more with life
 
Volatile mood swings and reactions based on constant inputs received from various stimuli (News, friends, spouse, in laws, children ...you get the gist!) v/s
More or less equanimous state where the choice of how and when to react lies with you. (this doesn't mean I don't feel like tearing my hair apart when D throws his stubborn tantrums - it just means my sanity doesn't go fully out of hand)
 
Making more mistakes, forgetting more things v/s
apologising much lesser as you've got most things covered
 
Being outward focused v/s
Being inward focused
 
We all usually experience all these phases at some point or the other. As we start living more of the inward focused life, our inner world and state of mind starts to really bloom and blossom and it does eventually reflect on the outer world too in a more permanent way.
 
Cheers to some inner blossoming for all of us...

 
Love
Alpa
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Test of Fire


All the challenges seem to be strewn on my path alone
Does this world make you too feel forlorn?

I wondered if everyone around me was having it easy?
Did the world give them joy? Or do they wish to be free?

Having experienced the highest desire, the desire for the divine,
all experiences in this world were off by a mile.

I went through the motions trying to engage my mind,
But unlike what i thought, the world was not kind.

I struggled to see what they were seeing,
where i saw "unnecessary" strife, they claimed "such is life"!

What have you achieved by playing these games of power?
Serve others and see how every aspect of life flowers

Surely they could not be enjoying their days!
Who enjoys being a victim in all ways?

Why spend days being insecure and fearful
Take refuge in knowledge, and life becomes beautiful

But it seems that this is what the world is used to
It is a huge discomfort to adopt something new

I shouted I screamed to make them see the light,
The fact that they didn't see it, only worsened my plight

Then realisation dawned on me
Not all desire to be free!!

I was fortunate the desire arose in me
Consistently living the knowledge is the key

Then i distanced myself from what was disturbing
And i realised it was only my mind that was playing!!

I smiled and decided to put that brat straight
I'm not going to let it dampen my devoted gait

Now when something bothers me
I look deep inside and the unchanging, i see,

I see how everything in this world is a reflection of my mind
I have to just dive into knowledge and peace i do find.

Its not easy, its very tough, i do reconcile
But that's what makes this human life worthwhile.

Guruji, you wanted to see me free
You put me through a test of fire
I came through unscathed
just as you desire

- Alpa









 

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Meeting with the master


The Master Magic @Yogi Sabhagraha

Gurudev entered the lovely yogi sabhagraha at 8 45 am. Started with “Om” chanting and “Satyam Param Dimahi” chanting and then led us through a beautiful long meditation. He also slipped deep into meditation (I peekedJ). There was so much peace in the atmosphere, so much love, all barriers if any would have dissolved then only.

It was a smart move by Gurudev, made us and our minds extremely quiet, then he said “Ask questions”!! It took the audience a long time to warm up to ask questions. J But we did get the ball rolling. Here is a list of the Q&A that I remember. Please forgive me mistakes or lapses in memory. Ive also mixed English and Hindi almost as Gurudev spoke. Don’t have the heart to translate his words J

Many people were asking questions without the mike from the balcony etc. but could be easily heard as there was such a loving silence from the audience, keen to hear every word, the “amrit vaani”.

As soon as the compair started asking questions from behind the curtain he said – “arre zameen par kyou baithe ho?” And started removing the rug from underneath his feet. The compair said “No No Guruji, Im fine”. Yet Gurudev wasn’t happy, while she was reading questions, he called Devang and personally  helped him remove the 2 gaddas from below his feet to give for the people sitting on the other side of the stage on the floor. And he added, “Volunteerism starts from here only”. Such concern for every soul, such style, such panache, such humility, such love, grace, beauty, knowledge, devotion – only Sri Sri can have.

Q – Guruji, when did you decide that you were going to be “Guruji” ?
A – You really want to go back so much in history?? Many  thousands of years? (laughter)

Q – How do we strengthen faith and keep our faith strong in these difficult times?
A – Faith ko strong karne ke chakkar mein mat pado. Doubt karo. Itna doubt karo ki doubt mein doob jao. Phir dekho jo na hila – voh faith hai. Phir voh faith Mumbai ki Imarato ki tarah strong hoga.
Dekho, doubt kab aata hai – jab prana Shakti kam ho jaati hai.
Sabse pehle kya hota hai jab prana kam hota hai? Doubt,  shanshay aata hai. Jab prana aur bhi kam ho jata hai  – tab kuch acha nahi lagta,
jab aur bhi kam ho jata hai to suicidal tendencies aa jaati hai.
To itna chakkar hone mat do. Saddhana seva aur satsang se prana badhta hai. When your prana is high you never get doubt. Some mornings you just wake up bubbling with energy that is when your prana is high.

Q – Guruji it is said that bad things happen to bad people, but I have seen that it is not true. Only good things happen to bad people.
A – No that theory is completely wrong. Wait a little. You will see that bad things will only happen to bad people. If good things are happening to them, it is because they are enjoying the fruits of some previous good karma. But they will finally come down. Girne ke liye bhi to thoda uthna padta hai, varna girenge kaise?? Karma ka niyam atal hai. If the sun rises over the Arabian see and sets in Chennai, I will accept your theory, but that won’t happen anytime soon.

Q – How much do planetary positions affect us – one jyotish has told me that I might have an accident because of some planetary position?
A – Dekho jyotish ek guideline hai. Ek marg darshak hai, uska exact prediction nahi hota. Agar kuch hona hota hai to uska upay bhi hota hai. Aur sab planetary positions ke effect ko nullify karta hai “Om namah shivaya” chanting.

Q – Guruji patrata kaise badhaye?
A – Hmmm, dekho ek to yeh awareness hai ki patrata badhani hai. Aur baaki to seva, satsang, sadhana se patrata badhti hai.

Q – Gurudev, I work in Marketing, and I have been told that you should stay away from these Guru’s and all as they influence you a lot.
A – What you are saying is an old paradigm. The new paradigm is that Marketing people say, GO and learn marketing from Guru’s. They can teach you. Learn how they reach 153 countries with no capital. How so many people get motivated?

Q - Someone in my family has schizophrenia – people with schizophrenia cannot do kriya – is schizophrenia hereditary?
A – Hmmmm.  Heriditary, ho bhi sakta hai aur nahi bhi. Pehle maine nahi suna tha itne logo ko schizophrenia hote. Ab jyaada ho gaya hai. Jinko schizophrenia hai unke mind par koi pressure nahi hona chaiye..koi performance pressure nahi hona chaiye.  Thoda Meditation karao.  Kriya to nahi kar sakte, par thoda meditation kar sakte hai. Par davai to deni  padegi

Q – Gurudev, can we please keep organic sugar in our divine shops? It is not available.
A – Hah, you know I was asking our people about it. You know that the sugar lobby in our country is so strong. TO extract sugar in a more raw form than it currently – you need a license!!! Currently you can only extract it after adding so much sulphur to make it that poisonous white sugar. I tell you the sugar lobby has looted the health and wealth of this country!! Use jiggery instead. It has zinc, magnesium and iron, all 3 are good for you.

Q – Gurudev, as part of my job come back late in the night and with the way things are going, I feel very scared as a woman. I feel I should keep a weapon with me, but I think that is so violent. What should I do?
A – One option is to change your job. Other option is learn some Karate or something. These little little girls in the ashram have learnt Taikwando and they have got national level medal. Learn Martial Arts. And don’t worry, nothing will happen to you.

Q - Upnayan is going to happen in Mumbai soon. Can you please share something about that?
A - Upnayan is taking responsibility. Taking responsibility of your parents, Society as well as knowledge. It also makes the person realise. "Ishwar Ansh Jeev Avinashi". That i am part of the infinite. It is also capacity building and confidence building.

Q – Cant talk to elders because of fear. Ghutan ho rahi hai.
A – Where there is respect there will be fear. But if there is respect with love, there is no need to fear. Say whatever is in your heart

Q – Guruji please tell us a story from your childhood?
A – I think that it is continuing

Q – Guruji aap kehte hai ki hamaari vajah se kisi ko taklif nahi honi chaaiye. Par agar hamare seva or satsang karne se kisi ko taklif ho to kya kare?
A – Laughs – Phir ek shlok hai (Sanskrit shlok)”Koi kisi ko dukh ya such nahi de sakta. Tum apna sukh dekho aur unhe apne kasht jhelnne do. Par iska matlab yeh nahi ki agar tumhare ghar mein koi bimar hai, tum usko na dekho aur seva ke liye nikal pado. Ya tumhara pati ya bacha kuch chahta ho aur tum nikal jao. Par aisa bhi nahi hai ki tum sirf unki suno. To tumhe ghutan ho jayegi aur man ki taklif ho jaayegi. Kabhi unki suno, kabhi apni karo. Aisa nahi ki har waqt apni karo ya har waqt unki suno. Life is about compromise I tell you.

Q – When I am very anxious to meet you what should I do?
A (laughs) Close your eyes and relax. Just meditate I am you and you are me. We are always together. In fact any type of anxiety, just close your eyes and relax. But don’t follow this while walking on the road or driving a car!! ;)

You give me all your desires and do my work. It is already in your experience that your small needs are been taken care of.
Q- I do sadhana, seva, satsang, but I am not able to let go? How do I let go?
A – (Guruji was playing with some mogra flowers on the sofa. He picked them and let them from a distance and said like this. Just let go. At some point you will say na “I give up”. When you cannot take it anymore? Then why wait to get to that point. Give up little little as it come. Did you get it?

Stop worrying about little things and desires. Desire Big, how can we raise a spiritual revolution in this country. The small worries will dissolve automatically.
Q – Guruji I do all Art of living practices and seva, sadhana satsang, but I love watching movies. I watch many of them. Then I feel bad that I can do something better with that time? Is that ok or am I being too harsh on myself?
A- Ha its ok. See you can watch but if you watch too much all your energy will get drained and plus you will get thick specs. Entertainment should be energising, not draining. Watch once in 3-4 months. If you want to see more, see half hour and come out. Keep some suspense in life. See how nature has kept suspense from you. How you were born is suspense. When you will die is suspense. What happens after death is suspense, so the interest stays. You also keep suspense in life.

Some other statements – who’s questions I cant remember!!
Laxmi unke paas daud ke aati hai, jo prayatna karta hai aur jisme sher (lion) jaisa confidence ho.

Prayatna aur prarthna – dono hona zaroori hai. Aisa nahi ho sakta ki aap sirf prarthna kare aur prayatna na kare – to yeh kaam nahi hoga. Aisa hota hai ki koi prarthna kare aur kaam ho jata hai – par vaha tak pahuchne mein bahut waqt lagta hai – phir to siddh ho gaye. Tab hi yeh hota hai.Aisa bhi nahi hoga ki aap sirf prayatna kare – aur prathna na kare. Dona saath chalte hai.
After so many questions, he said let’s do a couple of bhajans and then picked up the mogras showered the audience with them and emptied some on his own head and threw the bowl to a volunteer. Im like so charmed by his “adaas”. Jai Gurudeva