Get used - what are you saving yourself for???

This is going to be an anti-thesis to my post about not being extra nice and not being a doormat http://angelalpa.blogspot.in/2012/06/not-so-thin-line-between-being-nice-and.html.

 

This post comes for those who have been a pushover once in their life or seen others being one and swore never to be one again and went the other extreme and refused to help anyone without any personal interest. For all those who keep count of favours and IOU's and who sulk for days when someone takes advantage of them.

 

When i meet these people - i feel like shaking them and saying = "Get used - what are you saving yourself for?"

 

Its like you are a lovely bar of yummy chocolate, and you refuse to let anyone open your cover as you don't want to be eaten up.

But hey - if a chocolate is not eaten -its going to expire one day and the purpose and life of the chocolate is destroyed!!

 

Rather let someone who's really hungry or needs some cheering up, eat us or use us, it'll leave us with so much contentment and joy..

 

We are all God's never ending stock of chocolates - we can be used/eaten a million times and we'll still have more to give.

 

So why do we try and keep ourselves safe and unused, as comfortable as possible? Why are we so scared of being opened up?? Why do we fear to get out of our comfort zone so much??

 

We cant bear to be in a room without air conditioning, we cant bear to meet or listen to people we find irritating, we avoid some people and situations so much, give them so much power over us!! We cant bear delay, injustice, inconvenience ! Our tolerance and patience levels are at an all time low in this fast fast world!!

 

I'm not saying go out and get yourself inconvenient all the time - I'm saying do it sometime at least !! :) Stretch yourself.

 

Why expect convenience all the time??

 

Have you noticed-  we never grow when we are surrounded by convenience. You'll never feel an adrenalin rush in a comfortable/convenient environment. (Unless you're doing Sudarshan Kriya) You need to be doing something out of the ordinary to feel joy/contentment/excitement.

Don't we often hear of people who've had miracles in their life and we wonder why these things don't happen to us, albeit with a tinge of jealousy??

Dinesh Ghodke (you can follow him on @DineshGhodke on twitter) one of my Art Of Living Teachers, whom i love dearly and who has been extremely instrumental in making my spiritual journey so beautiful shared in an interview yesterday.....

Dinesh Ghodke - "When we are doing things that are IN our capacity - the Divine has no reason to intervene in our lives. Its only when we take on things/responsibilities that are WAY BEYOND our capacity, the Divine will feel a need to intervene to help you."
 

So go out there - do stuff for people even if its inconvenient for you...(AND DON'T KEEP COUNT)...Do it for yourself - for your growth for your happiness. (Nature always gives you back manifold, provided you are still not keeping count in that tiny corner of your brain)

 

If you want happiness for a day Eat good Food,

If you want happiness for  a month - travel the world

If you want happiness for a year - do a job,

If you want happiness for life - Serve Others - serve society!!

 

The kind of joy that you get when you serve others is so very fulfilling. Its almost intoxicating. Once you've experienced it - you cant do without it!!

 

When I'm involved in active volunteering for the Art of Living - life becomes so magical - all my needs get taken care of before they even arise in the most unique ways possible. It ensures I constantly have a reason to smile. Its miraculous. I've experienced this for many years. Now too I see this miracles around me everyday happening with me and friends around me.

 

Its great to give nature /the divine a chance to fulfil your needs. Nature does the job of fulfilling our needs/desires a trillion times better than we ever can.

 

Guruji often tells us - "You just go and serve others - and you'll never feel lack of anything in life....i assure you that"

 

And i have experienced it to be true for the past 12 years - there is so place for lack - life just overflows with gratitude...

 

So once again - Get used - Its the best thing that can happen to you!!

 

Love

Alpa

 

Personal Change - Demystified

CHANGE - This is probably the most exploited word in the Dictionary.

Somethings about change

• Its something we all have to deal with in life more often than we'd like to.
• It also has a knack of springing up when we least expect it.
• Somehow the spontaneous response to change, usually is to resist it.
• In spite of change happening since time immemorial, we are still surprised when it happens.
• Its the only thing that makes interesting conversations. We usually ask - whats new? No one is interested in the old or whats already happened. (Even though it was "new" then).
• Whereas we do need a change or break once in a while - very soon after we take that break - the heart and mind are craving for the familiar and the routine - 2 days abroad and you are suddenly craving dal roti chawal?? or rajma chawal?? or the comfort of your bed or meals cooked by your wife/mother. No matter what exotic location you go to - you're always relieved as soon as you sit on your own sofa or sleep in your own bed and eat the good ol' home food.
•  Change is an energiser - its whats keeps all of us going. It keeps us ticking. Makes the routine more interesting and more palatable.

 

 

Yet i feel most of us have not learnt to deal with this creature called "CHANGE" effectively.. We're still foxed when change jumps out at us.

It is truly said that the only constant is CHANGE !!

 

But there are 2 types of "Change" -

1) The one that we want to do

2) The one that happens to us by circumstance

Very rarely do these 2 merge. Life oscillates between these 2.

 

We are constantly trying to change our self or change others. This is at an individual level. Take that further and some groups are trying to influence other groups, Companies are trying to change or make their employees behave a particular way, Social activists groups are trying to bring change in the section of society they are working with. The Government is trying to change the state of affairs in the country (for better or worse).

I read this interesting quote

Reason for failure of marriage - A woman marries a man thinking he will change and a man marries a woman thinking she will never change.

Everyone is trying to change someone or something and when we finally achieve that change - we feel we have progressed or succeeded.

 

Serenity prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference

 

 

If we can just get this right. The peace happiness and bliss quotient in our lives will improve dramatically.

 

As Mahatma Gandhi said - BE the change you wish to see in the world.

 

So I'm going to talk about this personal change.

 

Most of us are always on some resolution or the other. I've been on a resolution to lose weight everyday for the past 2 years (well most of my adult life actually - i did succeed in bursts but not permanently)- well nothings happened so far. I think about it every day, many times a day, i keep procrastinating (that's my middle name), and say ill start from tomorrow, or next week or next month. Believing that i will hit that magical time in my life when my son will suddenly turn more cooperative and less naughty or ill find that perfect maid with whom i can trust my son or there will suddenly be this time when there wont be any personal or professional emergencies and i will get that GOLDEN time to focus on my weight loss. Guess what  I've realised over the last 2 years - THAT AIN'T EVER GONNA HAPPEN!!

 

So I've decided as soon as i publish this post - I'm going to re-start my surya namaskars (I can almost see my hubby crossing his fingers and sending up a prayer that this time its for real :)).

 

Coming back to the point - How to be successful at personal change??

 

Whether we are trying to lose weight or quit smoking, or controlling our temper, or stop eating junk food or be a better person or whatever else that we want to be.....there is a GOLDEN KEY

 

Ok - here it comes

 

We have to change our identity to make that change happen. We have to change the tags we identify ourselves with.

 

So instead of saying - i haven't smoked in 17 days 10 hours, 24 minutes you need to believe and convince yourself that  - I AM A NON SMOKER.  You will never feel like smoking again. (or wont give in that easily). Until you hit that your efforts will always be sporadic and unsuccessful.

 

(Note to self - I believe that I'm perfectly fit and healthy, have a glowing skin, eat the right foods and exercise regularly)

 

Role of Priorities

 

A lot of people say "id love to spend more time with my spouse/kids/parents and less time at work, but THIS project is soooo huge - as soon as this is over ill make it up to them"....and then...theres another big project, another appraisal, another promotion and the cycle repeats.

 

 

 

Like my dream of having that perfect figure - this too is a vicious cycle...

If you say something is really important in your life - it should show itself in your life and routine everyday - or at least 5 times a week. Else its not really important to you - Its just something you keep saying to fool yourself and the world.

 

If you were in an air plane that was about to crash - would you keep repeating - i really want to jump out with my parachute ..i really want to jump out with my parachute - ill do it in the next 5 minutes - or would you just jump??

 

Unfortunately there are no deadlines in relationship building or losing weight or anything that is good and healthy for us (unless we've had a health scare). We need to psyche ourselves - change our conditioning to achieve and enjoy these joys in our life.

 

So I'm going to inform you about my progress in a months time on my weight loss. (No I'm not telling you my current weight - fat chance!! just going to tell you how much i lost ;))

 

If there's something you want to change about yourself - take it up with me. Lets start together. Its always easier when you have company.

 

Love

Alpa